Interacting with Different (or Difficult) Personality Types this Holiday Season

Interacting with Different (or Difficult) Personality Types this Holiday Season https://wahospitality.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/11/Dif-Cust-TFT.png

By Dawn Jones

At some point in your life you may have taken a personality test such as the Myers-Briggs or the DISC, or even one based on numbers or colors. Some tests are based on science and research while others are purely entertaining. When you factor in people’s temperament, upbringing, social norms and practiced behaviors, personality is a big part of the equation.

This article is an excerpt from the bestselling Top 7 Personality Challenges program. It will help you prepare for the 4-primary personality styles you will encounter this holiday season. The Direct Person, the Thinker/Analyzer, the Social Extrovert, and the Relater. For a detailed complimentary copy of the full e-book, email info@dawnjones.net and put “Top 7” in the subject line.

1. The personality of the Direct Person
Direct people are direct, bottom line and to the point. They are natural leaders and quick decision makers who tend to be vocal and say what is on their mind. Because they base their decisions mostly on logic, not emotions, sometimes they can come across as harsh, abrasive or insensitive to people who are not direct. Some expressions of direct people are, “it’s nothing personal, it’s just business”, or they might say “get thicker skin”, or “don’t take things so personally” and often tell you to get to the point. Direct people are competitive and want to be the best. As a result, they often will tell you what you are doing wrong, and they are hard pressed to hand out compliments as they expect you to do an excellent job; if you are not doing that, you’ll hear about it. Because of their leadership skills and decision-making abilities, they get things done, though they might ruffle a few feathers in the process.

How to Communicate with the Direct Person
The best way to communicate with direct people is to be brief, be brilliant, be-gone! Don’t be redundant and don’t be-labor the point. As for tone, tempo and body language lean towards a more assertive almost aggressive tone. Speak at a fast rate and be confident in your stance and body language with intentional and purposeful moves. If you are a direct person, you might be thinking to yourself, “Okay, got my part, let’s move on”. Now here is where I am going to bring in the other three styles into this equation because, when you have the ability to reign in your style and learn how to communicate with the other three styles, that’s when you’ll start seeing the results and communicating with success. With that in mind, let’s move now to thinker/analyzers.

2. The personality of the Thinker/Analyzer
Thinker/analyzers are also logical in their approach, but unlike direct people they love details. They are natural planners. In fact, I like to say that thinker/analyzers are born with drop down menus in their head. They have a plan A, a plan B, a plan C and a backup plan, just in case. Rather than being vocal they tend to process their thoughts internally while considering all their options. As a result, they are more cautious and methodical in their decision making which also takes a bit more time. They are constantly looking at the how and the why of situations or projects. How does this work? How much time to do we have? How much will this cost? Why are we doing it this way? Thinker/analyzers love breaking down projects into processes and if graphs and charts are involved, even better.

How to Communicate with the Thinker/Analyzer
The best way to communicate with the thinker/analyzer is to be logical, linear and sequential and give your opinions only if they are based on facts, not your feelings. As for tone, tempo and body language lean towards a more mono-tone, or neutral tone. Watch your delivery speed, speak at a slower rate, and be more intentional yet relaxed in your stance and body language without a lot of movement unless you are demonstrating something relevant to your point. We’ve covered direct people and thinker/analyzers now let’s move to social extroverts.

3. The personality of the Social Extrovert

Social extroverts are more emotional or feeling based. They draw a lot of their motivation, or lack thereof, from their mood. They are natural motivators or cheerleaders; they are unafraid to speak up even if they are not an expert on the topic. They often draw their conclusions and voice their opinions based on their hunches or what they believe to be logical deductions. They are quick to decide and quick to change their mind. Social extroverts tend to be impulsive, basing their decisions mostly on their gut and intuition rather than on data or research. In fact, they hate doing research or running processes, preferring to fly by the seat of their pants.

How to Communicate with the Social Extrovert

The best way to communicate with social extroverts is to be animated, have fun, ask questions and let them be involved in the process. Think of their brain as an unformatted hard drive that is waiting for the program to be written. Be consistent and be intense in an adventurous way to reinforce your point. Let them know how much you appreciate them but be careful here, only say it if you mean it, don’t say it hoping it will happen. When they disappoint you, let them know – again with some intensity because if they don’t feel how their actions impact you and others, they won’t change. As for tone, tempo and body language lean towards a more assertive, almost aggressive tone. Speak at a fast rate and be confident in your stance and body language with intentional and purposeful moves. If they are dominating a conversation, don’t be afraid to interrupt them, correct them, or take back the floor—you’ll find they’re probably used to that. Most important, remember to smile and have fun.

4. The personality of the Relational Person

The last personality we will cover is people who are relational. Relational people are … relational. They draw a lot of their identity from relationships in and around them. They are loyal, caring and great listeners. They are peacemakers and slow to make decisions, doing so only after careful consideration of how new decisions will impact the people around them. Because they base their decisions mostly on feelings and emotion, they will sometimes break the rules or make exceptions to accommodate people or circumstances.

How to Communicate with the Relational Person

The best way to communicate with relational people: be nice, really . . . . just be nice and sincere and keep your word. Listen and take the time to give one-on-one attention even if it is for a few short minutes. When asking relational people questions ask, “how do you feel about this” rather than “what do you think about this”. As for tone, tempo and body language lean towards a more passive or a softer tone, speak at a slower rate and be very at ease in your stance and your body language, standing or sitting in a relaxed manner or a 45-degree angle. Use soft or gentle gestures, nothing grandiose or over the top.

You now have a better understanding of how to recognize and communicate with the 4-primary personalities: The Direct Person, the Thinker/Analyzer, the Social Extrovert, and the Relater. For a detailed complimentary copy of the full e-book, email info@dawnjones.net and put “Top 7” in the subject line.

Dawn Jones
International Speaker, Certified Coach, Corporate Trainer
Bestselling Author of the Top 7 Personality Challenges

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